liliaeth: (scira)

Unmanageable (4071 words) by liliaeth
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Teen Wolf (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Rafael McCall & Scott McCall
Characters: Rafael McCall, Scott McCall, Melissa McCall, Peter Hale
Additional Tags: animal death mentioned, father son issues, Rafael needs therapy, scott needs therapy, They all need therapy, mention of issues involving rape, mention of Stiles Stilinski

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable. -- First Step in the Alcoholics Anonymousprogram

The truth is hard to take, taking responsibility is even harder

liliaeth: (Default)

What I love most about Scott, is how much of a subversion he is to the usual protagonist. How unique he is compared to most other heroic characters and that instead of going with the usual cliché where the originally naive heroic characters becomes darker as he goes through suffering; that Scott’s suffering instead made him even gentler, more likely to try and seek a peaceful solution, more likely to want to talk things out.

Scott doesn’t posture, he doesn’t let himself be led by ego. He’s rarely if ever reckless or careless, but most of all, he’s gentle.

He has an incredibly high emotional intelligence and an understanding of human nature beyond that of almost any other character on the show which is what makes him a great leader. He can be too cautious of course, too likely to take responsibility, or hold himself accountable for things that aren’t his fault.

And yes, he’s often too willing to give people second and third or even fourth chances, but all that’s part of his moral flexibility, where he refuses to see the world in shades of black and white, the kind of perspective, where his side would be good and the other must thus be bad. Scott can’t bring himself to think that way. Instead he is almost always willing to look at things from his opponents pov. To see if there is any validity in what they say, if they might be the ones in the right, to wonder about their motivations, their reasons,and why they do what they do. And it is this that stops him from taking the easy way out, from just killing the bad guys to get it over with

There are few to no characters like him on television,and the ones that are, are rarely the lead. They’re rarely teenagers, because the kind of wisdom Scott has, is something most people don’t usually get until they’re older. And that in and of itself fascinates me about him.
liliaeth: (Default)

A new Teen Wolf discussion community
It's a friendly multi shipper com, where people can discuss the show, their fave characters, get help with fanfic, art,...
liliaeth: (Default)
I hate, genuinely hate, having to complain about customer service, but...

Last week Monday, I was supposed to get a package. Lucifer DVD's s1-2, that I had bought on Amazon. They didn't show up, despite both Amazon and he local postal site saying they'd been delivered. So after some phone calls with amazon, a bit of a wait, and another phone call, the dvd's would be sent over a second time

Today they finally arrived. Only instead of doing one of two options
1. Ring the doorbell, hand it over to me
2. Leave a notice in my mail slot, telling me to pick it up a the post office tomorrow

They decided to go with another option
3 Jam the dvd's as far into the slot as they could get it, almost ruining the carton packaging, and making it so the package was sticking half way out of the post box, so that anyone passing by could pull it out.

I'm assuming that said third option is what happened last week as well.

Anyway, my aunt who works for B-Post told me that these things are taken rather serious, so I figured I'd send a complaint. Still felt bad for snitching, but man, if I hadn't been keeping a close eye on the delivery online, I could have lost those dvds for the second time.
liliaeth: (Default)
Wanted to make some art for one of my favorite sadly departed Teen Wolf characters, aka Vernon Boyd.Fantasy Boyd
liliaeth: (Default)
Animated Scott

I'm not all that good with animated gifs, but I'd try and give this scene a shot. My heart breaks for Scott whenever I watch this scene.

liliaeth: (Default)
m almost scared to admit it in general spn fandom, but.

Read more... )
liliaeth: (Default)
I just got my hands on the dvd's for s3-s5 of Teen Wolf, so I figured, wouldn't it be fun to do a rewatch of the entire show. I'll be trying to write a review of each episode as I go, and hopefully others will enjoy it as much as I'm hoping I will :-)

Read more... )One of the first things i notice in the first ep, is how the dynamic is made clear from the start. Scott wants to do normal kid things, go to school, join the sport team. (even if he has no chance of joining), he deals with asthma, and allows Stiles spooking him in the most stupid way possible without more than a mock protest. All through the first ten minutes, there’s several moments where Stiles puts down Scott’s intelligence, his dreams, hopes, ... And he does this without considering the impact of his words on Scott.

Stiles is obviously shown as the risk taker, who goes into situations without thinking. At this point he’s the leader of the two, with Scott following his guide, since Stiles is probably his best if not only friend, and he doesn’t want to let him down. But all through that first scene it’s obvious that Stiles hadn’t bothered to think through the situation beyond “wouldn't it be cool to see a dead body”. As Scott puts it: “It’s comforting to know that you’ve planned this out with your usual attention for detail.”

From the start of the ep, we’re shown Scott as the innocent one. The one who isn’t in control. He’s little red riding hood, heading into the forest to meet the wolf, not even realizing that’s what’s happening. Since from his pov, this is pretty much another one of Stiles stupid plans, and he’s not about to let Stiles deal with it on his own. Like any teenage kid, he’s probably a bit bored with highschool, and his low place on the totem pole, but overall, he’s shown as a good responsible kid.

When he meets the Alpha (Peter), it happens quick, with little warning, and I doubt that Peter really gave what happens any more thought than figuring he’d either get rid of a witness, or since the kid gets away, a beta, which’ll be useful, since having recently gained his Alpha abilities, he feels the need to build a pack to gain power, and Scott probably felt like he’d be easy to control. (Peter would soon be shown to be wrong about this of course, but then that’s what makes Scott the hero of the story)

Then of course there’s Scott’s first meeting with Allison, when he doesn’t even realize it’s her in the car.

At School we also meet Jackson, being his usual jerkish self. Being set up as your typical rich bully.

Scott talks to Stiles, who rather than really listening to his friend, instead instantly talks down to Scott, doubting Scott’s words, we find out about Stiles stalker like obsession with Lydia, and her total disinterest in him. At this point we’re still given no real reason as to why Scott should possibly even like Stiles.

I loved the scene where Scott first finds out about his powers, the way he accidentally listens in on Allison's phone conversation. It’s clear from their first interaction that the attraction is obviously mutual. Which is a nice subversion of the usual cliché, where it takes a couple seasons before they get together, and much more in tune with real life. Also no creepy nice guy, pretense at being her friend while really wanting to date her trope, all of which is very very refreshing.

Lydia is set up as the popular girl, dating the school jock. Thankfully we’ll get more exploration of her beyond that trope later on.

I felt so bad for Scott at the start of the scene with the Coach. The coach is obviously being an asshole here. He pretty much sets Scott up to be humiliated, all to make his team feel good about themselves. We’re also given an introduction to the disadvantages of werewolf hearing.

Only then then the scene is turned around on itself, and it becomes a moment of victory for Scott with just the right musical undertone as his werewolf abilities kick in. And of course it helps set up the further attraction between Scott and Allison. :-)

Afterwards though, Scott once again shows what a thoughtful kid he is. Sure, that moment was cool, and he’s able to do all these awesome things. But showing his intelligence (and as we later find out, much of this might come from working as Deaton’s assistant), he starts considering that maybe what’s happening to him, might not be a good thing. He could be sick, and this adrenaline rush he’s currently going through might be a symptom of bad things ahead. Stiles as the movie nerd brings up the whole werewolf thing, but see that’s the point, up to this moment, Scott has had no reason to believe in the supernatural. And as far as he knows, as far as Stiles even admits, Stiles is just mocking Scott’s very genuine fears about what’s happening to him. (and sure, Scott doesn’t know what lycanthropy is, but how many people who aren’t interested in fantasy/horror really would know that term?)

We also find out that Scott’s family has money trouble. So up to this point what we know about Scott is that he’s a good responsible kid, from a family with few funds, living in an area that possibly has wild animals living around it. A kid who’s suffered from asthma, is an outcast and nerd, not the fandom kind of nerd, more the spending more time in his schoolbooks. He’s not the kind of kid that’s picked on, or the class clown. He’s the average young boy who has never really stood out in his life, who is trying to prepare for the future, and who lets the bad influence of Stiles bring some excitement in his life. But never expected the weirdness that his life would become.

Scott (and Stiles) then run into Derek. As the scene is blocked, it’s quite obvious that Derek’s full attention is on Scott. He barely even notices Stiles. We get a moment that obviously meant to be from Derek’s pov, and though Stiles up to this point, has been the one who’s talking, trying to argue their way out of trouble, Derek’s obvious attention is only on Scott, blocking out the kid that’s with him.

Stiles might offer the exposition about Derek, but his knowledge is clearly from listening in on his father(a trait that was pointed out earlier in the ep), rather than any kind of personal interaction. (ignoring the writers mistakes, we can probably blame this on the plothole of the writers changing Derek’s age once they realize how much older Hoechlin looks compared to the other actors)

Next we get to see Scott’s horror when he realizes the animals are scared of him, animals that he’s probably been regularly taking care of for a while now, who now suddenly sense him as a predator. For an animal lover like Scott, that’s probably a pretty scary thing.

When Allison comes in with the wounded dog, he instantly tries to comfort both her and the dog. He limits himself to giving immediate care to the dog, things he has had enough knowledge in how to do , before the actual vet gets there, instead of leaving the poor dog in pain.

I love how he reacts to Allison talking about how she behaved like a girl, pointing out that she ‘is’ a girl, and there’s nothing wrong, or shameful with that, while still respecting her feelings, and admitting his own emotions, opening up about his need to cry in situations. Becoming an instant place of comfort for her.

So by the point he asks her out, they’ve already had some time together, and it’s quite understandable why she likes him back. All in all it’s a sweet moment.

Instantly followed up of course, by the horror of waking up in the woods, half naked, with no idea of how he got there. Once again pursued by something out of sight, a horror he barely gets away from. That sense of horror is constantly there in everything Scott does and says, how he acts afterwards, and his fears of what’s happening to him.

I loved the scene where Jackson tries to confront him about possible steroid use, and Scott’s all ‘what the hell is he talking about’, and that moment of relief when he realizes that Jackson is talking about something as silly as steroids, while Scott’s entire body is betraying him, and freaking him out. It’s one of the few moments in the show where Scott is genuinely allowed to voice his frustrations, and it shows how terrified Scott is, that he even does so, based on what we see from him post s1.

We then get another lacrosse session, that becomes more interesting when you compare it to a similar scene in s4, where the roles have turned around.

Jackson has to deal with the fact that rather than an easily forgettable weakling, that suddenly Scott might be on his own level, that he might actually be a rival. It’s partly Jackson’s own insecurities talking, but as a result he gets harsher against Scott, which gets Scott to give in more to his wolf side in response.

But Scott doesn’t want to think about that. After all his fear, things are finally falling in line, this curse that terrified him is starting to look like it might be something good. And there Stiles comes, Stiles who before mocked his fears, mocked Scott’s bodyhorror, suddenly starts going on about this ridiculous thing, that he’d been mocking only a day earlier. And he expects Scott to just fall in line and give up on that one thing that is finally making things right again, that is giving him some hope that maybe just maybe this is a good thing, instead of a curse.
Scott can feel it, that sense of losing control of himself. But he’s hanging on to that hope. That maybe, somehow this is something good, that he doesn’t have to be scared, that maybe his life is getting better. Refusing to give in to his fear.

Only once he’s at the party, he can no longer remain in denial. The horror comes back. Derek wants to help him, but the way he does it, only makes things worse.

Remember, they’ve only met once, and even then Derek was ostensibly behaving like this total creeper. When Derek offers Allison a ride, the scene is blocked in a way that is supposed to be suspicious.

The horror heaps up on Scott, as his body starts changing, and he becomes what he sees as a monster, filled with adrenaline and a change he can’t handle. Combined with Derek’s sudden obsession with Scott, and Derek’s lack of an explanation, and refusal to tell Scott what’s going on, it’s no shock that Scott jumps to conclusion and assumes that the creeper following him is the guy he should be scared of, that Derek must have been the one who bit him, and must be the werewolf. He’d be stupid not to think that.

Even when Scott full out accuses him of being the one who bit him, instead of denying it, Derek instead tries to get Scott to embrace the bite as a gift, as something he should be grateful for. (it’s also noticeable that Scott ends up trying to use Derek’s technique when dealing with Liam later on. It’s a mistake, but what other example of introducing someone to life as a werewolf, does Scott even have?)

Derek of course isn’t the one who bit Scott, but based on the information Scott has at this point, and the emotional turmoil he’s in, his beliefs and behavior make perfect sense. Especially since Derek then attacks him immediately. (understandable since unlike Scott, Derek knows that hunters are around, and is trying to get Scott out of sight, but still, once again, Derek doesn’t bother to explain and instead makes himself the threat, rather than someone Scott should be able to trust. (it’s things like these that are probably a big reason why Deaton considers Derek a bad Alpha, because Derek did have a better example, and instead he’s screwing it up every step of the way. And unlike Scott, who changes his behavior as soon as he’s realizing he’s making a mistake, Derek keeps acting like this, until he has no other choice.))

The episode ends with two scenes, one between Scott and Stiles, where Stiles is still misreading Scott, not even bothering to realize Scott’s fear and trying to act as if tthis horrible thing that happened to Scott, from Scott's pov, is somehow a good thing. Or if he does get it, he’s ignoring that fear and being sarcastic when what Scott needs the most, is comfort. Stiles also completely dismisses Scott’s feelings for Allison, mocking it, partly because of his ongoing jealousy towards anyone knew in Scott’s life, and partly because though in his mind he’s allowed to go on and on about Lydia, but God forbid if Scott has an interest outside of Stiles.

The second scene is one between Scott and Allison.

Scott knows he’s screwed up, that he has no real explanation for why he abandoned her, but he doesn’t want to lie to her either. He even admits that he’ll probably disappoint her again in the future. But somehow his open eyed honestly impresses her enough to give him another chance. And just when you think everything’s fine with the world, we get a look at Allison’s father’s face..

And it’s the same hunter that put an arrow through Scott the night before

I think that as a pilot, this episode did a lot of things right. It sets up a believable relationship between Scott and Allison, it shows us who the main characters are and how they relate to one another, giving them at least some foothold in the story.

There are some people who feel like they should have become major supporting chars, but who end up fading from the next ep on, and others who aren’t introduced yet. But the basics is there and the game is on.

Sure Scallison is based on one of the oldest tropes in the book, Romeo and Julia, but it works, especially since the show doesn’t drag out the relationship.
We don’t spend weeks wondering when Allison is finally going to notice Scott, instead they go with the reality of a highschool relationship, which can come quick, and feel like the world depends on it...

liliaeth: (scira)
Laundry Day (13151 words) by posingasme
Chapters: 6/6
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Nancy Fitzgerald/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Nancy Fitzgerald, Ellen Harvelle, Bobby Singer, Castiel, Gabriel, Pamela Barnes, Annie Hawkins, Impala (Supernatural)
Additional Tags: Brothers, Big Brother Dean, Dreams and Nightmares, Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Hunters, Consequences

For his entire life, the only consistency had been the recurring event called Laundry Day. It was a day between hunts, when Dean found a small town to run errands of all kinds, including, of course, cleaning clothes. This particular Laundry Day isn't going as planned, especially since Dean could swear that when it started this morning, he'd had a kid brother named Sam...

Notes: And a big shout out to my amazing writer Posingasme, who was awesome to work for

liliaeth: (scira)
I am so damn tired of all the mon El hatred in Supergirl fandom on Tumblr, it's not even that I think he's perfect, or that I want him with Kara. (she worked far better with Jimmy), but people are just so over the top in their hatred, that I can't help but feel protective over the guy.

The fact that unlike some other characters, he's actually trying to change, and improve himself, makes the constant barrage of hatred against him, just so damn annoying.

I just wanted to see people talk about Duet, the musical episode, which was awesome, and people seem to be constantly dragging on Mon El, and because of it, on the episode as well.

It just feels like a repeat of how people acted about Riley Finn back in s4 of Buffy. it was enough to start the seeds for having me grow out of Buffy/Angel then, so you can imagine what it could lead to if it keeps up.

I'd get it if people just complained about the character on the anti tags, but they keep insisting on doing so in any tag even remotely connected to Supergirl, and worst of all, in the Mon el tag and karamel tag as well.
liliaeth: (scira)
Art Title: Owned
Prompt Number: E3008
Artist: liliaeth
Fic Title: Owned
Author: jiniz
Fandom/Genre: SPN
Pairing: Dean/tentacles
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 3026
Warnings: DubCon
Art Link(s): LJ
Fic Link: AO3
Summary: Ignoring is brother's advice, Dean sets off on a hunt alone even though he has no real lead to follow. What he encounters in an abandoned bunker not unlike the one he calls home isn't what he was expecting, but it's exactly what he needs.
Tags: Tentacle sex, Tentacles, PWP

liliaeth: (scira)
I love both Shadowhunters and the pairing Malec, but I'm going to have to stay away from Malec fandom on Tumblr, cause their behavior could start negatively impacting my love for the ship. I don't think I've seen a fandom of a canon pairing this entitled since well... the highdays of Buffy/Angel.
liliaeth: (scira)
Damn, yuletide archive opens tomorow morning, and I still haven't got a beta for my fic. Anyone want to help me, I'm desperate.
Only 2k
liliaeth: (scira)

a multifandom friending meme

Might help to get our friendslists active again.
liliaeth: (scira)
I'm going to be entirely honest about this,

If you voted for Trump, you are a horrible disgusting piece of shit, and I don't want you on my friendslist.

I don't care about any claims that you aren't a racist, homophobe, sexist, islamophbe.

I don't care that you like to pretend that you voted for this con man for 'economic' reasons, cause anyone with a brain could see that Trump's economic plans make no sense and will drive your country into ruin, cutting into any and alll safety programs for the poor, while cutting taxes for the rich. Years and years of republicans in charge in Congress and Senate should have shown that by now;

If you voted for Trump, you basically told every black person in this country that their lives are meaningless to you.
If you voted for Trump, you told every single LGBT person in the county that their safety and wellbeing is utterly and completely meaningless to you.
If you voted for Trump, you told every muslim, every latino, every person who doesn't share your faith or lifestyle that they and their children can drop dead.
If you voted for Trump, you've just told every man in the country that you're just fine with rape, sexual assault and sexism in any and all forms.

And if you voted for Jill Stein or Gary Johnson, then you're just as bad, because you looked at two candidates, one a woman who might not be perfect, but who's lived a life of service, and the other a sexist fascist who built his campaign on racism, sexism, islamophobia and homophobia, and you didn't see the difference, because you just didn't give enough of a fuck about the people who'd be hurt by Trump to make sure he woudln't get in charge..

I don't care for any pretense that that is not the case, because that is the exact message you just sent out. And that's not the kind of person I want on my friendslist.
liliaeth: (scira)
At this point I'm just too pissed to calmly discuss the American election. I'm not American, so it'll be a while before we start seeing immediate consequences of this gigantic mistake. But I feel so sorry for all the women,members of minorities and LGBT people who are going to suffer because of this.
liliaeth: (scira)
Working on my art for the reverse bang. It's a drawing of Dean. Anyone feel like playing art beta for me, so I can get rid of at least the worst of errors? Just want to see if I get this right, if not I'll probably just go with a manip.
liliaeth: (scira)
1. In the Flesh

I love both Rick/Kieren and Kieren/Simon, but i prefer stories that focus on the non-romantic relationships on the show. Friendships, but especially family relationships. That and a further worldbuilding beyond what the show already gave us, and what it's like to be a PDS sufferer in the ITF verse

2. Lucifer

Lucifer is one of the rare cases where I like a character who can be a bit of an asshole like Lucifer, the main difference of what makes Lucifer work, is that he feels like a child who is starting to learn boundaries, morality, and is struggling to grow up. Which is why his relationship with Linda is as important to me, as the one he has with Chloe. I don't mind Chloe/Lucifer so much, but I prefer for it to be platonic, at least until Lucifer is grown up enough to be with her.

Luciferr's relationship with Amenadiel is one of my fave parts of the show, that mix of love, annoyance and hate is just fascinating to me. Combine that with some Amenadiel/Maze and a heavy dose of Trixie, and you have a big part of what makes the show awesome.

3. Underground

One of my fave new shows of the past few years. I love that though the show doesn't shy away from the horrors of slavery, that it never makes the black characters mere victims. These are heroes who struggle for their selfworth, freedom and happiness. Showing their strenght, desire for freedom and humanity, and I'd love any story that reflects that.

4. iZombie

I love Clive, I love every single character on the show, but especially Liv and Clive, and there are just so few fics that focus primarily on the relationship between the two of them. Whether it's romantic or platonic, I don't care, long as it has the two of them. And of course, can't forget about Ravi, and Liv, or Peyton and Liv, or any of them together and... I just love the frienships on this show.

I'd adore anyone willing to give me a story that has Clive dealing with the reality of zombies, and how one of his best friends is a zombie, and what that means to him. I'd also love to see more of his private life, and why he likes to keep it seperate from his job.

5.  Sky High

The sign up page didn't allow me many characters to choose for this movie, but Warren, along with Will, is amongst my faves. I'd just like to see something that focus on how the school works, what their lives are like after they graduate, how this world deals with superheroes, and  how it interacts with the 'real world'
liliaeth: (scira)
I've been a bit out of sorts for the past month or so. So, sorry if I don't respond to things as I should or when I try to distract myself with things.

When I was newborn, my mom had to stay in the hospital for a while, so I was sent to stay with my aunt Gisele and uncle Herman for the first few weeks of my life. (my dad's not really the kind of guy you make watch a baby, period ;-) )

That's when it started. Most godmothers and godfathers are these nice people who give you nice presents and you read them a new years letter once a year and that's that. I was luckier than that. My real godfather didn't really care to make a difference, don't think I've ever seen the man past the time I was a toddler. But instead I got my uncle Herman.

Nonk as I called him, was (and still is)  a flawed man, big, strong, but likely to say stupid racist crap and homophobic nonsense, or anything else that he knew would piss me off. He woudln't mean it, not seriously, but he had this idea that pissing me off was funny. He'd be the kind of guy that'd start tickling you worse, when you begged him to stop. Or who'd try and annoy the hell out of you when he knew he was affecting you.

If this were any other man, I'd probably write him off.

But here's thet hing. Nonk was also the guy who'd soothe my tears when I was bullied in school. Him and auntie were the ones who'd give me all the attention that a kid needed. When my mom was working till I was in elementary school, auntie would come babysit us, and she was the one there for us, and me specifically when I needed her. Her and Nonk.

They were the ones I'd sleep over at, at least once a week, most of the time, I woudln't fall asleep, unless they'd let me sleep in between them, only to then wake up in my own bed in the morning.  (and yes, I did spend enough time at their home, that I had my own room at their place at least until I was over eighteen and their son, my cousin was born.)

I was one of four kids at home, and often needed more attention than my mom could give me, but when I needed it, auntie and nonk were there to do so. Hell, when I was sick, my mom would tell me to go to bed, at most give me a bucket and that was that. My aunt on the other hand would take me to stay with them, let me stay on the couch during the day, and give me a bell to call her or nonk if I needed something.

If I got in trouble, I didn't call either of my parents, I would call Nonk and he'd come save me. Even as a teen or an adult, when my bike had a flat tire, he'd come save me, when my moped broke down, same thing.
Bad snow weather on the way to work? A call to Nonk and with a bit of grumbling he'd get up at five in the morning to drive me to work, even when he was working a late shift that day.

So when a guy like that, who was more of a father to me than my own father gets sick, then it doesn't matter how much he grumbles or nags, you do whatever you can to be there for him. Even if it means daily visits to the hospital, to the point that most of the nurses spent at least some time thinking I was his daughter. Hell, when it was just the problems with his feet, I was probably a more regular visitor than Bart was. (Bart is their son an my nephew) He's a diabetic, and lost half of one foot, and several toes ont he other in the past few years.

Sometimes, when more than I'd like, he'd say crap I utterly disagreed with, and he'd nag even more than my mom does, I'd have to struggle to hold in my temper. But there's some people you just put up with that from. No matter how annoying it gets.

Over a month ago he had one of those few weeks/months that the hospital would let him go home. He wasn't entirely right yet, but he was tired of being in the hospital all the time and got them to let him go home, with bi weekly visits to the hospital. During the night he must have gotten up, felt ill, and needed to go throw up. he was on the couch downstairs, watching television, possibly fell asleep there, or it happened earlier, we're not sure.  He didn't reach the toilet, started throwing up before he got there. Our best guess is that he slipped over the vomit and hit his head. The doctors say he has three brain contusions. My aunt didn't find him untill the morning. She noticed he was out of it, but didn't instantly realize how serious it was. She called the doctor, and instead of to the usual hospital, he was taken to intensive care in Lier.

I can never begin to say how much it hurt to sit there on the second time I went to visit (which I could only do in the weekend, due to how hard it was for me to get to Lier on the visiting hours), and have him not even realize who I am.
Once he was stable he was taken back to Herentals, where he is now. During his first week there, the doctor responsible for the department he was in, said there was nothing to be done, they even mentioned that if he'd die, that they wouldn't do anything to bring him back. Luckily for all of us, he was removed from that floor and sent up, back to the fifth floor. The floor where he knew all the nurses, because he'd been there in various rooms for the past two years. Within a day he improved.

Last week, for the first time since the accident, he remembered my name again. He still doesn't remember everything, and he keeps forgetting things. But most of the time, he 'seems' himself again. But he isn't.
It's hard to explain what it feels like when you're happy he's actually angry at something. Even if it's something as stupid as us refusing to remove the board on his chair, that serves both to hold his food and keep him in his chair. But to know that he remembered what happened and why he was angry over it for the past two days is a huge improvement over the past month.

I miss my uncle, and as much as it annoyed me, I want him to start nagging again. To hear him say ' be careful', and have it be more than just an instinct, something he's always said. Something that would make him ask me to call as soon as I arrived, after driving back home to my mom and dad's place when I was a kid. It's weird to call one place home, when auntie and nonk's place was just as much my home as my parent's place was.

I just want him back, whining, annoying, infuriating, irritating and overly protective as he's always been.

December 2017

2425262728 2930


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Apr. 19th, 2019 02:45 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios