Today of all days

Lovely day - even though I spent most of it inside, with my back to a window view of skyscrapers climbing against a bright blue sky. It was in the 70sF, started out in the 50sF and slightly warmer than yesterday, with a nice breeze. So I took a walk up towards the cookie place. The cookie people have grown used to me - and tell that they will see me next week. I even know some of their names. There's a lot of turn over as would be expected - customer service is a tough job. You've a lot of down time, and then have to deal with impatient customers, many that don't speak your language. (It's NYC, one gets used to hearing 500 languages a day after a while.)

I'm wearing the new cat shirt that I bought via Amazon - it's not perfect, the green background dye is slightly off, and there's a little fading on one of the cat designs? But other than that - it's fine, and I only really plan on wearing it at home any how.

And per mother's request - I'm hunting trips to Mackinac Island, Michigan and Chicago that we can go on together. If you've done this or know of any, feel free to drop suggestions/recs in the comments below.
Apparently, Mother's sister suggested it - her younger sister lives in Michigan. She didn't provide additional help or advice on the matter.

Making my way through Rivals - finished the first season on Hulu. It's fun, and reminds me a lot of 1980s prime time soap miniseries and shows, such as The Thorn Birds, I'll Take Manhattan, Dynasty, etc. They were fun too. I think there's a bit more to Rivals - mainly because it's a satire, the 1980s shows weren't satires exactly.

Also, gave up on the satiric romance fantasy Long Live Evil by Caitlin Rozakis, again. ( Read more... )

And still reading This Kingdom Will Not Kill Me by Illona Andrews - which has an entertaining twist. ( Read more... )

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Friday Five

1. In an average week, how many nights do you eat home-cooked dinners?

Pretty much every day.

( Read more... )

Firefox keeps kicking me out of all of my logins - if they've not been active for a while. I get that it is a security precaution. But it's also annoying.

It's easier to forgive painful slights than it is to forget them, unfortunately? And even when I do, my body remembers them. This brings to mind a Sondheim song, Children Will Listen, in it is the lyric: careful the things you say, careful the things you do...children will listen

I think it's important to be mindful of what we say to each other - because a seemingly careless barb said or posted in the heat of a moment, which we or you or I may forget immediately thereafter, could sink in and damage the unlucky soul on the other end. Kindness and mindfulness often go hand in hand, and are lot harder than either appears.

I also think - music often captures the difficult emotions we can't quite find the words or means to describe. Music and paintings, photography, art of all sorts. Some artists create to music, while some musicians create looking at art.

The outside world at times feels sharp edged. And it can be difficult to find the soft edges.

**

I asked my mother if I should/could come to see her in July, since Jury Duty could be anywhere from August to December. But mother doesn't want to do that - mainly because she has no idea what to do with me and likes to keep her life on Hilton Head separate from her family. (And to be fair? I've become incredibly high maintenance, unlike my brother and niece who low maintenance - diet issues, bad knees, back issues, special pillow, and can't drive. Although she was nervous about them visiting them as well, she had no idea what to do with them - and was worried they'd be bored. We have to travel too far - is the problem? She live about a 1-2 hour plane ride away. So just a quick weekend getaway doesn't quite work in regards to expense, and travel time.)

I don't really want advice on this. Mother would prefer to do something else with me, but we've not figured it out, and there are obstacles. My knees. Upcoming jury duty. Her health. My job.

My mother is like her own mother - generous to a fault, but undemanding, and not liking to impose or inconvenience anyone. And I, alas, am like them both. We don't like being high maintenance, or asking for help in my family. We like to be independent, and not put anyone out. So I may physically be high maintenance, but not emotionally. In fact, the first time my grandmother had a birthday party was when she turned 90, because her birthday fell on the day after Christmas. And she didn't want to make a fuss. Everyone in my immediate family hates to be the center of attention, doesn't like a fuss being made over them, and doesn't really understand folks that do.

**

Looked up Jilly Coopers Rivals series on Good Reads, and discovered from the reviews the following:
( Read more... )

Off to bed.

[ETA: Has anyone else noticed a problem with unconsciously skipping words when writing, and going back and thinking - oops what happened to that word? I know I wrote it, I remember writing it, but it's not there. Damn it. ]

Mother told me recently that I had gotten increasingly fed up with everything, and that I'm kind of burned out.

I think she nailed it. I am.

I think I've reached the stage in which this paragraph kind of fits me at the moment:

"what if some of what we are calling loneliness is not a failure of connection at all? What if it is a refusal? Refusal to perform closeness that feels hollow. Refusal to stay in relationships that require shrinking. Refusal to trade self-respect for the comfort of not being alone."

I didn't read the rest of the article - it's from The Elephant Journal, nor do I subscribe to it. It just popped up on FB and it fit how I feel at the moment. Which is basically - take me as I am or not at all.

I think I hit the wall on that in 2025, finally. And this year, I'm kind of enjoying just being alone and doing my thing - whatever that is.

***

Today - I took my Quiet Moment Sketch Book and Markers with me to work, and did a few line sketches - using as few lines as possible. Sketched a tiny stuffed koala bear, a mug, my backpack...and was happy with the results.
I'm trying to turn off the critical brain - and just let it flow. Just did ten minutes worth.

I also sent myself the first draft of my Post-Apocalyptic Alien Invasion Sci-Fi Novel. I'm so bored at my workplace - that hopefully this will give me something to do or think about. ( Read more... )

***

Question a Day Meme

22. Today Vivid Sydney starts in Sydney, Australia (and continues until 13th June). Iconic landmarks and urban spaces glow with stunning light installations and 3D projections, captivating both locals and tourists with a vibrant playground of lights, music, and creativity. Have you ever seen a city light show similar to this?

Yes. The Plaza Light Show in Kansas City, and several as a kid. I think I also saw one in Sydney Australia once or London. I can't really remember? It was a VERY long time ago.

23. When is the last time you ate fresh pineapple – did you prepare it yourself?

This weekend. No, it was prepared.

24. If you had a pet dog, what name would you give it? What’s the weirdest dog name you’ve heard?

I'm not great at naming animals? But Fetch comes to mind. Or maybe just Dog. Weirdest name? I can't think of one. Drawing a complete blank.

25. It’s estimated that gaming now holds around an 11% share of the global entertainment market. Have you ever played an electronic game (on your phone, computer or a game console)?

Yes. I'm playing Tiles Survivor at the moment. I got bored of Royal Kingdom and Royal Match, and the Vital Majohn game had too many pop up ads, Redecor - you couldn't play without spending money after a certain point and alas, ads. You have to spend funds on Tiles but not as much (and like Royal Kingdom and Royal Match - there are no ads)- I may give up on it soon too.
I'm not really much of a gamer? I get bored easily?

26. When you look up into the sky, can you identify any of the cloud formations, such as Cumulonimbus, Cirrus or Stratus?

Nope. I learn it, I forget it. I can't remember astronomy either.

It's a cool rainy day. Been raining for the last three days with no end in sight - to the extent that the days have kind of blurred together, with work wedged in at the front of them. Gloomy. Perfect weather for watching horror television shows. ;-)

I took a brief walk today - stretched the legs, through the drizzle, to pick up groceries. Then cleaned out a portion of the fridge - in order to insert them, along with a portion of the cabinet. All the while listening to an audio book. Then made dinner. Which was comprised of broccoli rabe, zuccini squash, summer squash, and carrots, with chicken on kebob sticks.
Peppermint ice cream, berries, chocolate and whipped cream for desert.

Saw the horror flick Send Help on Hulu, which stars Rachel McAdams, and Dylan O'Brien (the standout from Teen Wolf) - and directed by Sam Rami.
I was curious to see where it went. It surprised me. They didn't follow any of the standard tropes, and kind of skewered a few along the way. There is a hilarious scene that is almost reminiscent of a scene from Misery, but far more twisted. The director does a surprisingly good job of misleading the audience, and allows the audience's imagination to fill in the blanks - to great effect. Not something I'd expect from Sam Rami, who has matured since Evil Dead.

Think Castaway meets Misery by way of Survivor and Office Space?

It's better to go in blind on this one, so I won't say more than that? Except it's a two character piece, and both O'Brien and McAdams sell it.

I have to say horror has gotten a lot more interesting in the last several years? We've slowly moved away from the redundant slasher flicks and serial killers, and into more mischievous territory - with darkly comedic ventures. Mike Flanagan, Sam Rami, Emerald Ferrel, Noah Hawlely, Guillermo Del Torro, The Duffer Brothers, Blumehouse and A24 have managed to revitalize the genre. Inserting humor and focusing on character - also a touch of satire.

Also watched a bit more of Firefly - eh, it doesn't hold up well? I liked it better when it first aired. I loved it when it initially aired - I had the DVDs, and saw the film in theaters. But it doesn't hold up well.
Has anyone else rewatched this recently? ( Read more... )

Binged all of the current episodes of Widow's Bay on Apple Tv. It's worth a look. Although my favorite character is the sheriff, who is definitely supporting. ( Read more... )
Also some nice jump scars. It's not violent though. And doesn't result in nightmares. I'd say mildly scary? It's not like Alien: Earth - which I couldn't get through, it was too violent and too gory and too scary for me.
(I admittedly can't do body horror. And Alien:Earth is heavy on body horror and parasites, two things that I don't handle well. I'll leave it to the true horror aficionados on my correspondence list.)

Then I jumped over to a contemporary romance movie on Prime entitled "Regretting You" - I think it's adapted from a Collen Hoover novel (?) - and it's horrible. I made it a quarter of the way in and gave up out of boredom. You know the movie has issues - when two major characters are killed off and you do not care. Worse? You can't really tell the difference between the four major characters because they all look alike.
Do they just hire people from models inc for these sorts of movies?
One actress isn't bad, the rest, sigh. It's about a woman who discovers her sister and her husband were having affair, after they die in a car accident, and she rebuilds her life, with her sister's fiance/baby daddy.
It's poorly paced, drags, and has bad dialogue.

Skippable.

I gave up on it. And will most likely go back to watching either Midnight Mass or Citadel. There is a zillion television shows and movies on. Honestly, I feel the same way about activities in NYC or things to do (which unfortunately all require a subway ride or car ride or ferry ride or bike ride). I feel overwhelmed and in sensory overload? Anyone else feel this way?

Maybe I need a life coach to keep from shutting down.

I've moseyed back to the science fiction novel I wrote. Which I may write the prequel to. Dumped the contemporary romance novel - which I couldn't make work. Too problematic. Some stories just don't work no matter what you do. Best to let them lie dormant. [And, it's just possible that I'm not cut out to be a contemporary romance writer? I don't even really like the genre? And barely read it? So it's kind of hard to write a genre that you don't like. I like horror better, actually. I could write horror. Every time I try to write contemporary romance it turns into horror or a thriller, with a convoluted plot - because I get bored easily.]

And, I'm considering taking a sketch book with me when I do jury duty (whenever that is - I postponed it to August, and they told me it could be any time after August depending on need...so I've no idea.) and just sketch people. Maybe my travel watercolor book? They may take exception to that?