I am Spike

[liliaeth]

This is an old message I saved from BAPS written by shipperxphile  that describes exactly why I'm a Spike fan. It's a message that more than anything says why I'll protect Spike, why I get so obsessed with the guy and why I'll jump up to defend him when someone insults, attacks, ... him in any way.

I thought of it as something I wanted to say as a response to a B/A-ers question in the comments of theantijoss's post about writercon. I didn't since I don't troll.
(well not if I can help it)

But I still thought it might be interesting to post it here.

This btw is a post in response to the age old situation of how ME expects us to identify with Buffy, something that a lot of the viewers seem to disagree with, including this poster...

(I seem to be one of the rare people who did identify with Buffy, up to S6 at least, but that's just me, for the record, I edited a bit so all the 'I'm not Buffy' parts of the post are gone, mostly cause I don't entirely agree with those)

 

Strangely, on the other hand
I understand and identify with Spike.
I know what it's like to appear
to almost be part of the group and yet,
NOT be part of the group.
I know what it is to want something and not to get it.
I know what it is to be knocked down
and have to get back up
ON. YOUR. OWN.

I know what it feels like when your accomplishments
aren't valued or perhaps seen by others.

I know what it's like to have a crush on someone
and that someone not give a damn about your feelings.
I know what it's like to pretend to be "ok" with something
when inside you're hurting
but it's better to pretend that you don't care
than to expose vulnerabilities to a friend/lover
who would use that vulnerability against you.

Spike I can empathize with.
Spike is emotionally accessible to me.
Spike is HUMAN to me.

I am Spike.

Comments

[crimsonsenya.livejournal.com]

Thanks for posting this! Personally, I've never felt I could identify with Buffy and those words about Spike could be mine too. I've been a Spuffy though, but somehow I started disliking her after The Girl in Question, so from now on it Yay Spangel for me ;P.

[dusty273.livejournal.com]

You just listed all the things why I love Spike so very much. Thanks for sharing this. I can tell you that my favorite character up until after 'Tabula Rasa' was Buffy, with Spike coming in close second, but after that it was all Spike.

[liliaeth]

Oh I love Spangel ;-) it's the pairing that unites us all*eg*

Thing is, I'm still a spuffy fan, I'll always love Buffy. (it's most of the reason why her behavior in S6 angered me so much) If I didn't like her so much, then I'd just want Spike away from her. It's the fact that I do like her that makes me want her to come to her senses and see Spike for who he is. The one person who could make her happy, if she let him.

[liliaeth]

I think I moved over to Spike as fave only a few eps later. OAFA was the breakline for me. I could feel for Buffy in Dead Things, but when she looked at him in OAFA, at the injuries she caused him, and she didn't even flinch,... that's when my sympathy moved over to Spike.

[bogwitch.livejournal.com]

I indentify with Spike too, and have since season five (when I came in) and the feeling has just got stronger and stronger. I understood season six Buffy, she had an excuse, but it's the season seven one that I have a problem with.

[crimsonsenya.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that girl has some issues, she refuses to confront and now the shows are over *sobs* but, luckily, we have the wonderful world of fanfiction, where we can make her open her eyes :D.

[greenstone-j.livejournal.com]

That was a great post, thanks for sharing, and yes, I get Spike, and I think that's why I love him to dead (well, dust then...plus *points at icon*)

[liliaeth]

yeah, it's easy to get Spike, because despite being a vampire, he's just one of the most human characters on Buffy. (souled or unsouled)

And the fact that JM is hot as hell is just the cherry on top.

[liliaeth]

My main issue with S7 is that noone ever calls Buffy on her behavior of the year before. Why would they, they all see her as the victim. And she doesn't bother to try and change that misconception.
With all the time they spent trying to make Spike good enough for Buffy, they forgot to redeem Buffy. (and Willow, but that's a whole other matter)

[shapinglight]

You know, I'd never dream of going anywhere near Ducks' LJ, because I know the urge to troll would just be too much for me, but I would like an idea of the tenor of the comments, so if you were brave enough to read them, perhaps you could say?

I remember Shipper's original post, and it means as much to me now as it did then. Not a Buffy hater, just feel sorry for her, and not really a Spuffy any more either. However, like you, I feel that Buffy turned away the one person who really understood her and could have helped her in many ways.

It's a big, complicated question.